My First Christmas at The Quesnels

Seriously she is too cute for words, covered in chocolate, lasagna ect and snuggly as can be!

The tree, the mayhem and the practically naked children.








Rick the master photographer caught his mother with her mouth full, the big guy is always ready for his close up.

Randy Jr, in all his christmas glory, he got me and rick unwrapped coffe mugs, its the thought that counts

Justin, Virginia,jackson Jean and randy

My favorite little girl, Natalie

Monty playing with his toys, he is chewing on black rubber toy. Lobby (the lobster) is sneaking up on him...

Monty Loves the snow, can you see him?

Big Randy Rick Me Jackson Virginia and little NatalieIt was really snowing, you can see how much fun we have!

me and ricks christmas photo....aka ma and pa kettle

Me and Rick at Kate (shorey's)and Deans wedding

My favorite person in the whole world

A few days before my parents left. Beautiful fall day in orwell.

Dinner at my house with my parents Natalie, Lindsay and of coarse Rick

This is the Chelonidae or "Sea Turtle". My parents boat that they are currently taking to florida

So they are really sailing away....My parents are going to be heading south on the "sea turtle" on tuesday the 21st. This is such a wonderful yet terrorifying thing for me. It leaves alot of room for reflection on me and my life in general. I feel confident in my life here and for once i truely love my life. I never told anyone or really myself how much i disliked my life and i feel so good now. Its funny how it seemed just normal to not really be happy and then all of the sudden you wake up and poof a whole new happy you. I love the farm and have found god in all the animals and plants that make up my life there. my job is amazing and truely rewarding although sometimes irratating. But im a big figure in an amazing town. I sometimes feel alone but i know that even if my family and friends are many many miles away they are always with me in my heart. Thats all for now! Ill keep updates on my folks.

I live...i know it has been a long time my new job is soo insane. Ive been so busy that i have been compleatly unreachable. last week an alarm went off on the sprinkler system.. long and short a old head on the system ended up blowing thank god the system was shut off when this happened. and only air came out of the head when it burst. MUCH better than 80 gallons of water per min. what a rush, the tenants are mostly crazy but harmless, always wanting more for less money. DONT they know how far below market they already pay? AAAH me an rick are great as usual now a days. He is working tons but starting to enjoy it again i think he goes in phases between love and hate of his job. I went to kate shoreys bridal shower last week and wow i am so happy for her! It was really nice to see all the old girls. I got to reconnect with some wonderful friends and am meeting one today to go to the Marbleworks Pharmacy 20th anniversary festival. Should prove to be quite interesting. Her son who was just a tot when last i saw him. Is now six years old! My oh my time flys.

the family*

its strange how tragety brings people together. Morgan Leigh Lancer 7/31/82-8/21/08. Sadness and greif are abundant. I was hoping that writing could heal my soul but right now it is not right. I knew morgan since we were babies together. She was so fun, spirit shining through the good bad and the ugly. we had alot of fun times together, not to mention the trouble we got in together. Ahhh its amazing how much i have prayed in the last few days, i mean its a regular thing for me but really non stop. I know thats what she needs and what she would have done for me. We hadent hung out in quite a while and i wish we had, i guess that is why im praying so much catholic-ish guilt on not trying harder. but its not important, what is important is remembering the sparkling soul that was morgan, the morgan that i will never forget. I guess her family is having an increadibly hard time, cant blame them. i and everyone should send them strength in whichever way you can....i guess ill just keep praying.

and shes gone on a jet plane.... I didnt think it would hit me so hard but my oh my. Lindsay left on tuesday for tuscon AZ to work for white stallion ranch. I am so happy and proud of her but cant help but feel deserted. I miss you linds. this year has been tremendously hard and well linds has been my stone. She always understands and never judges no matter what! Wow. i cant help but feel like my lincoln connection is no longer which is bittersweet. But alas i have no time, i love this picture i just wish you could see mrs. perfects "stairway to heaven". I hope to visit AZ this spring after the heating system is shut down for the winter at the building. If and when i do trust that there will be many wonderful horseback riding in the desert picts.

one doggy pic

I never finished about ruckus

So i never fininshed the whole big dog thing. I didnt end up keeping him we were testing him out and it did not work in a big way. The problem was this. Big dog=big poop, pee, big dog that has not been fully trained= ... well im sure you can put it together. Not to mention the time i took him for a hike and he got loose and almost got us both killed by a bus. scary..
on a better note. i am "testing" another dog this weekend and i feel really good about this one. He is a american eskimo dog, purebred. he only weights about 15 lbs. ( i can totally take him). he is white, fuzzy, snuggly, cute, 7 years old and FULLY trained. So we will see. Promise for a update after the weekend.

the goats, on our way to pick black raspberries! Yummy

The calf compound

Finially some more farm pictures Goats are for sale so if your interested...

New Baby

CONGRADULATIONS JENN AND TRAVIS WELCOME SOPHIA!!

baby i just got started loving you

So times are tough. Me and my beloved are on a trial seperation. we still live together and still hang out (i mean really who elce are we going to hang out with we are our own bff)and still love eachother greatly. But ricky thinks that he may not love me as much as i need him to. and we know that i do demand alot of love. Which is absolutly crushing for me. I have thoughts of "how can this happen again, i give my heart and soul to someone and they dont have enough to give to me". he is a good man though. our cell phones are on the same plan and he will continue to pay it and of coarse will continue to pay rent. It is a confusing situtation. Rick says that he loves me and that he just feels like he holds me back. Cant blame him on that one i feel that too sometimes. but he and i are adults and surprisingly are dealing with it in an adult like manner. I respect him for having the balls to bring this foward insted of just acting the part. it would be worse to have him fake love me. but i realize that i am rambeling. i havent told anyone about all this and it is nice to put it up on the screen. I have found that this seperation has givin me a renewed sense of ME, i am building my confidence again. For the two of us we are getting to know each other again. its amazing how day to day life can make you inadvertently become drawn apart. we are becomming friends again, laughing again, having amazing sex again. These things give me faith that even if we dont work it all out Rick will continue to be a dear friend for the rest of my life. If that is all i can get than i am willing to take that.

New addition to my life Ruckus!

Part of me still finds it depressing

So every week i buy the Addison independent. Is a comfort thing i start with the police log which thankfully i nolonger recognize any names! then i read the oped page and then always find myself looking at the announcements you know the wedding/baby/engagement page. And every week without fail, there is another person from my highschool class that is either married, engaged or celebrating the arrival of a new baby. AAAAh i remind myself that i am not in a race and that i am not getting left behind. But boy is it hard to find the strength to not get down about it. On the bright side i regularly am able to celebrate the addition to the herd on the farm.. it amazes me how often calves are born on the farm. I am beginning to master the art of convincing them that i am their mother.You know mooing and giving them their first meal. I chuckle when i picture how jenn and ruth would laugh it they were to catch me crouched down on the milk house floor doing my best momma cow while a brand new calf stumbles to and fro trying to reach its "mother" and her tasty meal in a giant baby bottle. For now these will be my babies. And that is just fine.

Wow just thinking about it makes me feel better.

Its funny how when it snows, no matter where you are you feel a sense of peace. I can be out at the farm or at the apartment in "downtown" middlebury and the snow is just so quiet and peaceful. Ahhh wonderful.

First step

This will be short, This is my first blog and im not sure what to write i will start with a quote from george bernard shaw,

"The great secret... is not having bad manners or good manners...
but having the same manner for all human souls: in short, behaving as if you
were in heaven, where there are no third class carriages and one soul is as good as
another"

try just try to live this way, im sure trying.

anyway things around the house are looking good almost finished with the kitchen and living room. looking more and more like a home everyday. love to all